Starting Over

“Have you ever walked into a situation where, you know exactly what’s going to happen, and then you do it anyway? And when what you are afraid of happens, you kick yourself because you should have known better.”

Mary Margaret
Once Upon a Time
Season 1, Episode 6

Close your eyes and think back on a situation that, on hindsight, you know you could have handled better. Like a hundred ways better. And then you kick yourself because of one misguided choice or spur of the moment rebellion, you lose what you have worked hard for for the longest time. It can be a choice you have to make about a committed relationship; the split-decision and last minute action at work and it costed you your promotion; or even by sacrificing your values and integrity just by choosing what is easy rather than what is right.

Afraid to be called out as being sanctimonious, my point is, life happens. Bad things happen to good people, a situation calls for a last minute action and sometimes we are not given enough time to be self-aware and be mindful of our actions (I’m a temperamental person, believe me, I have been known to blow  my gasket and lose my temper a time or two). We know that there are actions, mindful or not, that we are not proud of. Especially that the choice and action led us to our own pitfall.

But then again, what happens next? In as much as life happens and can turn for the worst, it can also turn for the best. And the worst that we can do is to stop when we are at our lowest.  Hope springs eternal. Pick yourself up and don’t wallow on pity-party. Calling a spade a spade, it already happened. No matter how hard you wish, you can not undo what has been done. We can maybe atone and make up for it, but it can’t be undone.

To quote Henry Ford, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again. This time, more intelligently.” Be more Emotionally Intelligent. Endeavor to be a person who is not highly driven by emotions. Lashing out is not the healthiest reaction whenever your triggers are pushed. Accepting that YOU made a mistake is a good starting point. Then believe on the fact that you are not defined by one misguided choice and decision.

If there is something that I learned on how to deal when I’m about to lose my temper and I can highly recommend, it will be The Four-Step Approach to Counter Stressors:

1: Stop

2: Breathe

3: Reflect

4: Choose

Be a creature of habit, the above 4 steps can be done in less than a minute with constant practice. In due time, you will find yourself becoming more and more self-aware.

Surround yourself with positive people. I’m not saying that you have to go out and air your dirty laundry for everyone to see. If you are comfortable with just a chosen few, then talk with just them. You will find it easier to move on and not self-castigate too much if there is a strong and loving network behind you.

Go back to your values, decide more intelligently on how you want to drive your life. Dig deep. Find your moral compass. Believe that you can rise above and beyond that one misguided action. You are a beautiful creature. Believe in yourself.

thoughts

What do you think about this sharing? Let me know what you think. Leave your comments below. Share this to your friends, they may need the words.

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